Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

Compiled by Betty Bassett

BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly clear; if the chickens like their eggs, then they can keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender eggs. 

HILLARY CLINTON: What difference does it make at this point why the chicken crossed the road?

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.

GEORGE BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side.  He's either with us or against us. There is no middle road here.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes,  in the way he walks.

THOMAS DE TORQUEMADA: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I’ll find out.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white?

BUDDHA: Asking this question denies you, your own chicken nature.

MALCOLM X: That chicken would get across the road by any means necessary.

LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represent the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" to trample him and keep him down.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken is not first dealing with the crisis on this side of the road.  It is just stupid to go looking for a new problem on the other side of the road?  

OPRAH WINFREY: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems; that is why he wants to cross the road.  Instead of him suffering, I'm going to give this chicken a NEW CAR!  

FOX MULDER:  You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe?

ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is a chicken; but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road?  Did he cross it with a toad?  Yes, he crossed the road; but, why, I've not been told.

J.R.R. TOLKIEN: The chicken, sunlight coruscating off its radiant yellow-white coat of feathers, approached the dark, sullen asphalt road and scrutinized it intently with obsidian-black eyes. Every detail of the thoroughfare leapt into blinding focus: the rough texture of the surface, over which countless tires had worked their relentless tread through the ages; the innumerable fragments of stone embedded within the lugubrious mass, perhaps quarried from the great pits where the Sons of Man labored not far from here; the dull black asphalt itself, exuding those waves of heat which distort the sight and bring weakness to the body; the other attributes of the great highway too numerous to give name. And then the chicken crossed it.

RUSH LIMBAUGH: I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road; and I'll bet someone out there is already forming a support group to help that chicken with Crossing-the-road Syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take! Chickens crossing the road is paid for by tax dollars.  When I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money that the government took from you to build roads, for chickens to cross.

PAT BUCHANAN: The chicken crossed the road to steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

DONALD TRUMP: We should build a wall so that the chicken can't cross the road.  Once we build the wall, no more chickens will ever cross the road. It will be the biggest wall.  We will have the best people working on it, the best people.  And believe me the best part is the chickens will pay for this wall. 

RALPH NADER: The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed.

ACCENTURE CONSULTING: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Accenture Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Accenture helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital, and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management Framework. Accenture Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Accenture's consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecture and implement an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like setting; enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message that aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. It was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution. Accenture Consulting helped the chicken to become more successful.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and then went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

MARTIN LUTHER KING JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question. I say to the chicken, "If you can't fly then run; if you can't run then walk; but whatever you do, you have to keep moving forward.

CHARLES DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.

DARWIN'S NEPHEW: Which came first, the chicken or the road?

PYRRHO OF ELIS: What road?

MICHAEL SCHUMACHER: (Splat!) Oh, sorry. Was that a chicken?

SIGMUND FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity. You see, to you, the road represents the barrier between what is and what might be. What is…is you in front of the computer screen, practicing celibacy, peering into your mother's womb, wishing to be suckled at her breast (in this case, at the teats of internet knowledge and passive acceptance); hating the reflection in the screen that reminds you of your father; thinking how your life can never measure up… What might be, only the chicken knows, now that he has crossed.

JERRY FALWELL: The chicken crossed the road because he was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what "they" call it - the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay.  And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too.  I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." Chickens should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as that.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road; or did the road move beneath him?  Either case depends upon your perspective and frame of reference.

JAMES T. KIRK: The chicken crossed the road to boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

JACK NICHOLSON: The chicken crossed the road because it [censored] wanted to.  That’s the [censored] reason!

INIGO MONTOYA: Chicken, you crossed my father's road. Prepare to die.

THE SPHINX: Why did the chicken cross the road?  You tell me...

PSYCHOLOGIST: Why do YOU think the chicken crossed the road?  How does that make you feel?

ENGLISH PROFESSOR:  The question of why the chicken crossed the road is impossible to answer because the context is not clearly defined. Restate the question and turn it in next week for a final grade.

Reference:

https://philosophynow.org/issues/13/Why_did_the_chicken_cross_the_road

https://www.yelp.com/topic/los-angeles-famous-people-answer-why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road

https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/ap4hmp/famous_people_answer_the_ubiquitous_question_why/?utm_source=amp&utm_medium=&utm_content=post_body

https://mason.gmu.edu/~sgillesp/Fun/ChickenCrossTheRoad.htm

https://oddrandomthoughts.com/the-why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road-joke/

http://www.jokes2go.com/lists/list103.html

https://www.google.com/amp/s/m.huffpost.com/us/entry/139254/amp

https://www.ime.usp.br/~humberto/chicken.html